Here’s the
problem with
WORDS
You and I got hit
with around 10,000
yesterday.
How many do
you remember?
Yeah.
Which begs
the question.
Why do
some words
stick in our heads?
But most don’t?
Well, to answer that question,
I have to use some words.
POOF
There’s
a word that’s fun
to read.
BOOM
There’s another.
OOPS
I did it again.
The first two
are onomatopoeia.
The last one’s an
interjection.
All three have
double O’s.
NO SHIT
SHERLOCK
is a phrase
I’d like to bring back.
It’s alliteration.
Which is why
NO SHIT
EINSTEIN
doesn’t work.
And why
IT’S BRITNEY
BITCH
does.
Here’s a great name for a hero:
BATMAN
Here’s a great name for a city:
bangkok
Here’s a great name for a president:
barack
I used alliteration on you again.
Also, the letter B makes interesting words.
Also, I’ve been using
The Rule of Three.
But more on that later.
Let’s look at this sentence:
I HAVE AN IDEA.
Which of the following adjectives
makes the sentence stronger?
A) I HAVE AN AWESOME IDEA.
B) I HAVE A KILLER IDEA.
C) I HAVE A BIG IDEA.
Answer:
D) NONE OF THEM
Adjectives are weak.
If we’d chosen a better noun
we might have written this:
I HAVE A DREAM.
Moving right along.
Here are 3 words
that are funny
all by themselves:
LEOTARD
HERNIA
SHART
Here are 3 words
that are scary
all by themselves:
LEOTARD
HERNIA
SHART
Context is everything.
Or, it all depends on who sharted
in their unitard.
Here’s a word
nobody wants to hear:
NO
Here’s a word
that starts wars:
GOD
Here are 3 words
that change everything:
I LOVE YOU
Back to The Rule of Three.
Our stone age brains are wired for it.
That’s why you can fill in
all these blanks:
BLOOD, SWEAT,
AND ______
THE FATHER,
THE SON, AND the
______
BACON, LETTUCE,
AND _______
Three’s the magic number
because it’s the quickest way
to form a pattern in our heads.
Two is just a pair.
And four, as proven in combat
by the United States Marine Corps,
is too many things for us to remember.
When you use The Rule of Three in comedy, the first two thoughts make the pattern, and the third breaks it.
It’s been explained as:
MONDAY
TUESDAY
BANANA
Here’s a classic
from the Simpsons:
ME?
FAIL ENGLISH?
UNPOSSIBLE.
And Christopher Walken
from the SNL skit:
I’VE GOT A FEVER
AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION
IS MORE COWBELL
You don’t have to use
The Rule of Three.
You don’t have to use
any rules at all.
Except, of course,
you do.
Here’s a rule used
by everybody from
David Ogilvy to Will I Am:
WRITE LIKE
PEOPLE TALK
Here’s one from
Kurt Vonnegut:
MAKE EVERY CHARACTER
WANT SOMETHING,
EVEN IF IT’S ONLY
A GLASS OF WATER.
And one from
Anne Lamotte:
WRITE LIKE
YOUR PARENTS
ARE DEAD.
Melodramatic?
No way.
Most people write trash
because they’re afraid
to write the truth.
And readers
always know
when you’re full of shit.
Speaking of full of shit,
Chat GPT
knows all these words:
EAT
LOVE
PRAY
HATE
SWEAT
CHOKE
GRAB
CHUG
SHOVE
LAUGH
KISS
LIE
FREAK
BLABBER
BLUSH
BREATHE
DREAM
DIE
but it won’t ever do
any of them.
It can’t feel
any of them.
Here’s a little secret.
Nobody gives a f*ck
what you think.
But people will care
how you feel,
if you can make
them feel it.
Writing is a fight
because life is a fight.
You will start out in the dark.
You will give up in the dark.
You will suck
and as you’re sucking,
you will think to yourself,
I suck.
If you stop,
you’ll be right.
But if you keep going,
and cut all the pretentious crap
you think other people want to hear,
and you can get your
first world fingers
to type something
that rings true
because it’s you,
well, you never know.
Your words just might
live on forever:
PRACTICE WHAT
YOU PREACH
SEEK AND YOU
WILL FIND
BE THE CHANGE
YOU WISH TO SEE
IN THE WORLD
FIGHT THE POWER
FREE YOUR MIND
USE THE FORCE
Just BEAT IT
JUST DO IT
Words are a magic spell
only a few people
know how to do.
Words matter now
more than ever.
You can say
whatever you want.
A lot of people do.
But if you expect
other people to listen,
you have to
earn the privilege.